#134 - SUZY READING - Why being selfish matters
In this episode I sit down with Suzy Reading, one of the UK’s leading psychologists and self-care experts, whose new book How to Be Selfish lands perfectly in the middle of a cultural moment where so many of us feel guilty for having basic needs.
We dive straight into our complicated relationship with the word selfish—and why most people aren’t struggling with a lack of time, but a deep sense of unworthiness that stops them from resting, asking for help, or saying no.
We explore English apologising culture, how childhood conditioning shapes the adults we become, and the subtle ways wellness culture encourages socially approved self-punishment under the banner of “growth” and “resilience.”
We get into emotional health, nervous system regulation, guilt, boundaries, and how replenishment isn’t indulgent—it’s essential.
If you’ve ever struggled to advocate for yourself or feel deserving of care, this episode offers a grounded, honest roadmap back to self.
NOTABLE QUOTES
“Selflessness isn’t the virtue we think it is. Most of the time, it’s a coping mechanism.”
“Your depletion serves no one. Your replenishment serves everyone.”
“We literally apologise for our existence. Someone hits us with their trolley and we say ‘sorry’.”
“We’ve been raised to believe you can’t rest until your to-do list is clear. That’s like telling your car, ‘Once you get me there, then I’ll fill up the tank.’”
“Trash talk is a form of self-harm. Your brain will still generate difficult thoughts – the work is in how you speak to yourself about them.”
“Emotional health isn’t about feeling happy more often. It’s about being able to identify your feelings and move through them in safe, healthy ways.”
“Most people say they don’t have time for self-care. The truth is, it’s not a time problem. It’s a worthiness problem.”
“If I were being selfish, I would…? Whatever comes after that sentence probably tells you what you really need.”
PERKS FOR YOU
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THE HOSTS
@adamhusler - Drawing from a variety of lives lived off the mat, Adam Husler brings a unique perspective to those who seek more from yoga than making pretty shapes. He offers creative, effective and clearly-sequenced teachings that focus on balancing flexibility and strength; physically and mentally. Educated by globally renown teachers, including Jason Crandell and Michael Stone, Adam specialises in a signature style of Alignment-Based Vinyasa— fuelled by a fascination with anatomy and a desire to ask ‘why?’.
Based in London, Adam teaches a robust schedule in one of the worlds top yoga studios, Triyoga, and world leading gym, Equinox. On top of this, Adam leads workshops, trainings and teaches festivals continuously around the world, leaving him with thousands of teaching hours under his belt and plenty of appearances in national and international media.
For workshops, trainings, events and retreats, find out more here.
